Healing the Healer: Unbreakable Bonds
by conchick
Summary: A sequel of sorts to "Making Changes" After the events of Predacons Rising Knock Out reflects on Highlights of his partnership with Breakdown. It has some connections to Energon, Coolant, and Lubricant which expands on his flashbacks.
1. Chapter 1

**Unbreakable Bonds**

_"With lovers and __**friends**__ I still can recall  
Some are __**dead**__ and some are living  
In my life I've __**loved**__ them all  
But of all these __**friends**__ and lovers  
There is no one compares with __**you**__"_—"In My Life"-The Beatles

**Disclaimer: The Transformers and Lyrics belong to their respective owners. Neither of which is me.**

**A/N: Knock Out's recollections/flashbacks are in italics**

The Crimson ex Deception sat back on his berth. The day was over and It had been exhausting. He decided to attempt to view things differently. Attempt was the main word here. He made no promises to himself or anyone else. He was sure the Autobots had their doubts. Pit, so did he. His spark pounded against his chest plates. Change wouldn't happen in a megacycle. Far too much of who he was consisted of decepticon. He would not deny that. He focused on the positives of it instead. He learned control of passions. His emotions didn't plague him, they drove him. He wasn't expected to wear them on his shoulder plates. On the contrary, he was expected to and would continue to 'suck them up'

Such a philosophy guided him most of his life. His role models were decepticons. Megatron, well he knew how he felt about that. His creators? He could barely remember what they looked like. So he would never know what kind of role models they would have been, if he had been given the chance to actually know them.

You didn't open up to Decepticons. They would use it against you the first chance they got. Knock Out saw a few do it and used it himself. You didn't survive long in the con ranks with a soft spark either. Compassion was weakness. Even as a medic he did only what was necessary. Strength and intelligence won out every time. He did that and liked it like that. Well, he thought, there was one exception to that. The one mech that haunted his thoughts constantly. The one that drove him to continue to believe in the cause until it ended this morning before his optics. The one he found himself thinking about in Koan, The one 'war causality' that would haunt him the rest of his existence, the one mech he missed and would trade his finish for the chance to see again. Breakdown!

Knock Out cleared his vents with a sound that was not unlike a human sigh. He thought about the first time he saw that big blue former wrecker in Koan.

_"__Hey pretty mech" came a bellowing voice that he scarcely heard over the shouts in the rings and the noise of the city. "Hey you, you're a medic aren't you?" came the voice again. This time Knock Out had not doubt who the green wrecker was addressing. "I, we, need you over here"_

_Knock out looked around and walked over to where he was standing. "Fighting in the rings again are you?" Knock Out said in an almost condescending way. He couldn't imagine voluntarily going in there. Most did not but some did. They wanted to prove themselves. Knock Out wasn't sure to whom they want to do so. Most were criminals that some how managed to escape the Smelting pool. _

_"__Absolutely not! At least not lately. Haven't you heard? Megatronus has been fighting, and winning contest after contest lately. Bots do get injured in more honest ways, doc. Working. Never mind how. He is our strongest. Can you make the repairs or not?"_

_"__Of course. It looks far worse than it actually is. It is fortunate your armor is so thick. Designation is Knock Out by the way." He pulled the rest of the blue mechs chest plate off, sealed the cut energon veins, and prepared to weld the circuits. _

_"__Break down" he answered_

_"__This may sting" The wrecker just grunted. Knockout welded the damaged chest plate back together and reattached it. He pulled out a buffer. _

_"__Wait, put that away. I am not a fembot. I don't mind a few scars"_

_"__No one said you were. As a medic with a specific interest in body work, I care about my how my patients look. If you look shoddy what would that say about moi?"_

_"__Fine, pretty mech. Just that one. What would bots say about a shiny wrecker?" Breakdown laughed. "Thanks"_

_Knock out transformed and was about to leave when he heard something behind him. Not one of those he thought. He hated insecticons. He transformed and pulled out his energon probe. Before the creature got any closer a hammer came in and the creatures was in pieces. _

_"__One save deserves another, Doc! You may want your buffer though."_

_"__Thanks, Breakdown." _He left not thinking he would encounter the blue wrecker again but hoping he was wrong. There was something about him that Knock Out couldn't quite put has talon on. He certainly wasn't expecting to see him as as soon as he did, and certainly not the way that he did.

There was no way Knock Out could recharge now. He didn't have time before now to really think through everything. Pit, he didn't even have time to grieve before now. He brought up another file.

Knock Out didn't see Breakdown again until after the war started on Cybertron. Knock Out had yet to officially pick a side. He didn't consider himself neutral though. Neutrals were cowards to afraid of losing to fight to win. Knock Out was no coward. Oh, He didn't want to fight but not because he was afraid of joining the Allspark. He had become even more concerned with his work and his image. He needed to survive and the best way to do that was to rent his services out to anyone who needed it and was willing to pay. He stayed in the triage units and made minor repairs on Autobot and Decepticon alike and both tried constantly to recruit him. Then he saw him again. Breakdown was brought into the field clinic just behind Decepticon lines.

_"__Code Red coming in Knock Out" a soldier called. "Wrecker, hurt bad. Autobot wreckers! Hurry."_

_"__Wrecker?" Knock Out asked noticing who it was "Break down?" _

_"__Doc? Knock out?" Breakdown tried to ask the shiny enegon and coolant seeming to pour from his back. _

_"__Quiet. Don't try to speak" Put him here. Initiate stasis" Knock Out cleared away an operating berth as quickly as he possibly could. "Primus, I hope this isn't as bad as it appears." But he was doubtful. The wounds were dangerously close to his spark chamber. He had seen it on both sides. These warriors were in it to win. Kill or be killed. Breakdown would not offline on his watch. This would not go down like it normally did. Parts were always needed but Primus not his! He would not become a donor today. He scanned him. "I need energon now! Someone help me hold him on his side if there is coolant in his spark chamber it will extinguish his spark."_

_Knock Out pulled off what was left of his back armor. His chest and Spark chamber took damage. He pulled out the vacuum and cleared the area of coolant and quickly sealed the severed lines. "it's safe to put him on his chest. Where is that energon?" Knock out got desperate and began to open one of his own lines. Just enough until more gets here. He thought. _

_Knock Out seemed to constantly be sealing off severed lines, and Breakdown continued to bleed out. "Where is all this coming from?" Another quick scan revealed a small knick in his main energon line behind his spark chamber, and the flicker of his spark seemed to weaken while racing. "Primus no!" Knock Out with his servos deep in Break down's chassis was about to despair "NO you brute. You won't go like this. You have my energon. Come on already! You push my limits. I'm going to push yours. I need that energon. _

_"__Transfuse him" Knock out ordered as he carefully sealed off the bleeder. "You are one lucky fragger" He told them as he went back triage and then to the wash racks. _

_When Breakdown came around Knockout was standing over him with his arms crossed and optics piercing into his. Breakdown saw him and immediately looked away. "That near spark attack was just what I needed yesterday. Thank you so much big fragging glitch! Don't ever do that again"_

_"__I thought all you did was body work?" Breakdown whispered. "impressive I guess I owe you one, again. "_

_Knock Out cycled his vents. "You're welcome. What exactly happened. The Autobots have that kind of strength?" I didn't realize…" He stopped there. He wasn't about to tell breakdown that he had been working for both sides. _

_"__Yeah their wreckers are formidable. They have no air soldiers to speak of. Their numbers are few and falling daily. We may just win this war sooner rather than later. "Cursed Autobots won't do it again. He thought._

That was the day Knock Out officially joined the Decepticons although he was still far from becoming Megatron's personal physician. He and Breakdown started the partnership of I'll fix your back you buff mine.

It was the first but it wouldn't be the last time Knock Out was elbow deep inside Breakdown saving his life. Primus he wished he could have been there when the humans got to him, when that dreadful femme Arachnid took him out. Knock Out shook his helm. Ultimately he failed his best friend.

_"__What is the matter with you Knock Out? I have never seen you so…restless. Worried about something? Or rather someone?" Starscream asked when he noticed Knock out headed toward the bridge._

_" __No. If we located the energon there is no doubt the Autobotrs have too. I was checking to see if Breakdown reported back. These missions go so much more quickly when we go together. My speed you know. We'd have them and be leaving had you allowed me to go too Herr Kommandant. I haven't heard from him personally so…" _

_"__You are worried. Why? Don't you think he could fight off a few Autobots? Surely he could better not having to worry about protecting you too, you know."_

_He hated it but logically Starsream was right. But why did it feel so wrong? Why hadn't Breakdown answered his comm link?_

_He contacted Soundwave. That was one mech who knew everything. He informed Knock Out that the last communications from the mine there were humans and autobots present. _

_"__Doctor, I am going down. I will return shortly. And before you ask. No you cant come with me. I want you to think about where your loyalties lie when I return you may want to get the med bay ready."_

_His spark froze what have the bots done to him this time? He thought. He busied himself trying not to think the worst. _

_Breakdown walked into the med bay. Knock out was extremely glad of that. "Are you ok? What in the name of Primus did they do to you?_

_"__I am fine. My pain receptors are off. The humans…they…M.E.C.H…"_

_He collapsed back on the berth. Knock Out vented deeply as he looked at his best friend. Humans, he thought, Knock Out watched Earth's science fiction and horror shows. He knew exactly what happened. Earth's Governments and Alien races. They couldn't leave them in one piece. Though he liked the concepts in the movies the fact they dared lay a grubby greasy hand on his friend pissed him off. _

_He worked carefully and in silence until Breakdown insisted he wanted to feel something and all but ordered Knock Out to turn his pain receptors back on._

_"__Are you sure? Some of this is delicate circuirity."_

_"__Yes, feeling pain again is better than being numb."_

_He would give his partner that much dignity. "__Ok. Try not to squirm." Knock Out knew he wouldn't. Breakdown didn't even flinch despite the pain Knock Out knew he must be experiencing. Most mechs would be screaming and with anyone else Knock Out would be enjoying it. However, this time it was all he could do to not say anything. He wanted to apologize but knew Breakdown would never hear it. That too was for weaklings. _

_"__I bet, Breakdown, that we could succeed where they failed. Into how many pieces do you think we can dissect a human?" Knockout asked with a hint of amusement._

_"__Knowing you hundreds! Is that a bet or a promise?"_

_"__Both" Knock out answered. _

Knock Out got up and paced. That still bothered him. Sure there was some satisfaction in taking out CYLAS but despite what he told Starscream that day It did bother him seeing that human parasite in his mate's body. He should have actually dissected him. Had he known what was coming and that Shockwave would take his experiments he would have. I am truly sorry Breakdown. He thought.

Then there was the day he didn't come back. He didn't even want to relive that one. Arachnid and that seeker. They came back. They came with his energon on them, but no body. They let the humans take it. What a disgrace. Knock out felt his spark surge. He went outside and noticed the sun set casting a sparkle over the planet. "Thank you Breakdown!" Thank you for everything. Until all are one" He went in to recharge.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Anger and Acceptance**

**"Many times I've been alone and many times I've cried  
Anyway you'll never know the many ways I've tried  
And still they lead me back to the long and winding road  
You left me standing here a long, long time ago  
Don't leave me waiting here, lead me to your door"-**"The Long and Winding Road" The Beatles

**Disclaimer: I don't own transformers or lyrics. **

The sound of metal scraping against metal followed by a loud crash outside Knock Out's room jarred him out of recharge. _What idiot… that can't be good. _He thought as he forced himself up. "Oh scrap! That hurt" Smokscreen said favoring his left side. "I really need to pay more attention to my chronometer. I am late already and Ultra Magnus is furious I'm sure. Now I'll need repairs too. I hope no one saw that." Smokescreen said to no one.

_Of course it would be him…acting like a sparkling. Not a surprise. _ Knock Out thought still annoyed but went out to check on him. "Trying to break records for speed Smokey or were you trying to break yourself? You may have achieved one of those goals. Are your breaks functioning?" Knock Out said shaking his helm. "Some of us aren't on duty until later and would love beauty rest, not that I need it." He added not hiding the annoyance in his voice. He loved to annoy the younger bot. After the experience with the patch he knew how to get under that particular autobot's armor. Really though, besides needing a few minutes with a buffer now are you okay?

"I'm fine, Knock Out, thanks." He answered a bit embarrassed that he had been seen. "I won't be if I am any later."

"Afraid of Ultra Magnus are you?"

"No, but he is the commanding officer"

"We aren't at war anymore you know so why be so worried?"

"Until we set up an official government he stands in." He gave Knock Out a look that made it clear he didn't trust him and didn't want to be there any longer.

"If you say so," Knock Out finally said. "considering you haven't seriously damaged yourself and need immediate attention, if you will excuse me I plan on finishing my recharge cycle now thank you."

Knock Out turned and walked back to his berth. This was going to be another long day. After a couple of breems he knew that recharging was out of the question. His systems simply would not cooperate. There was plenty to do and he would make himself useful as well as attempt to work his way into the autobot's social structure. He growled softly. It was necessary but he didn't have to like it. He took plenty of time getting himself presentable and went for energon. Several others were already there finishing off their rations. It always seemed to him that the autobots were friends with everyone. He knew better. His encounter with Smokescreen earlier proved he wasn't friends with Ultra Magnus and common sense told him that different personalities always clashed despite affiliations but the fact that the ones he was on Earth with seemed to be closer than he would have been with almost anyone. They were even quick to like the Humans. Not that that mattered now. No, he wasn't going to just open up to anyone else, ever. He shook his helm. Even recharging didn't clear his processor. He was scolding himself when he heard Ultra Magnus and Ratchet come in.

"He is no doubt dealing with so much at this moment. I am not sure it is wise. You are acting as Prime for now so I am asking:" Ratchet told Ultra Magnus.

"I know. I have so much on my processor I can't deal with it right now, Ratchet. Besides that is your area of expertise. You make the choice. If you trust him go for it. I trust you."

Knock Out somehow knew the two were discussing him, and not just because he always assumed that. He braced himself internally when they approached him.

That was it he had his temporary assignment alongside Ratchet. This couldn't get worse he thought.

"Knock Out are you really okay?" Ratchet asked him afterwards.

"Am I okay? After all that happened the last several joors, not to mentioned being shook from a much needed recharge by someone acting like a sparkling and racing inside, not having enough fuel and now working in close quarters with someone who doesn't even like or trust me…forgive me if I am not just leaking enthusiasm."

"Look It hasn't been easy on anyone. We have all lost someone we cared about so if you want to talk about it…"

Knockout cut him off. "Really Doc bot I am fine. I will see you in half a joor." They had no idea. Sure Optimus was gone but he sacrificed himself willingly. Breakdown was murdered. He didn't have remains to properly honor him with a burial then he discovered he had been brought back online by a parasite, then he became a zombicon before he was finally offlined for good. Solarcycles later the same thing happened to his leader, Megatron. No, they had no idea what he was dealing with. Ultra Magnus admitted to being unable to deal. Some leader he was going to be. Knock Out refused to wear his emotions on his shoulder plates. He didn't need to 'talk'.

The conversation made the memories flash into his processor. He had to deal with it. He Slipped away as quickly as he could.

_"__Lord Megatron has asked Dreadwing to see to it that Arachnid is terminated. He suggested backup considering how she is and asked me to join him. I have to agree. She is bothersome and I too look forward to her termination. I am glad to get to help or provide cleanup as we used to say." Breakdown told Knock Out. _

_A shiver of sorts when down his back strut and he felt his energon go cold. It defied logic and he couldn't explain it so he said nothing, but Knock Out had a bad feeling about the whole situation. It was similar to the impression he got when he fell into MECH's trap only worse. _

_Breakdown was aware of how still and silent his boss and friend became. "Are you okay, Knock Out?"_

_"__Sure, why wouldn't I be. Between the two of you terminating her will be a breeze. Just…"he hesitated. "…be careful. You know how she gets when she feels threatened." Beside__**s**__, he thought, I need you here. When MECH captured him he was surprised at how much damaged they inflicted. He knew Arachnid could do worse. He refused to let himself think like that. Not today. He was staying on the Nemesis. Knock Out reminded himself that he would join the Allspark before Breakdown. After all it was Breakdown that had the brute strength, as well as the long range weapons. Yes, Breakdown would definitely outlive him. He needed to stop panicking over nothing. _

_"__I will be. Nothing rash I know. Just out in the field and we finish her. I will see you in a few clicks. I promise." Those would be Breakdown's last words to him, a broken promise. _

_Knock Out busied himself with the clean up around the med bay. He got the feeling that he was going to purge and radioed Breakdown. "Breakdown what is going on? Status update!" The only response was static. "Breakdown, are you functioning!?" Static . "Noooo!" Knockout said to no one. He went as quickly as possible to the bridge only to see Dreadwing returning alone. He froze and listened. Megatron had not yet seen him. _

_"The reason for our inability to locate Breakdown's signal is all too clear, but how is it that you are unable to recover his remains!" He was interrupted by a communication from Arachnid and Knock Out turned away. He didn't want to hear anymore or be seen at that point. His partner was gone and so was his body. Primus only knew what she did with it. _

_Dreadwing walked out in a fury and almost ran over the medic. "Doctor?" _

_The smaller mech stepped back. _

_"I am indeed sorry." There was no emotion in his voice. It was just the common curtsey given when a warrior was lost. It made Knock Out more furious. He couldn't hold his vocal processors._

_ "You're sorry? Where is his body? He was a warrior and deserves a proper burial. You have robbed him of that honor" Knock Out had replaced his hand with his buzz saw and was pointing it at Dreadwing._

_Dreadwing stopped suddenly. "I AM sorry!" he said again and began to walk slowly down the corridor leaving Knock Out. "Skyquake didn't get that honor either, if you recall." He stopped. "I know what you are feel…thinking, There is a way we could honor both of them. No one else has to know. I will speak with you about it later. Right now there is much to be done." He transformed and flew off to follow Megatron. _

_Megatron summoned Knockout later. "I am sorry Doctor. I trust this will not affect your work!"_

_"Of course not, my Leige, the big brute was my assistant nothing more. I managed before and I will continue to do so." Knock Out cringed inside from the lie he was telling his leader but it was necessary. _

_"Good to know, doctor. If you need assistance any of the vehicons are at your disposal. You are dismissed."_

_He returned to the empty med bay. He would grieve alone until Dreadwing returned with his idea for a memorial, however that never happened. _

Knock Out pulled himself out of the memory. It still hurt but he would find time for that memorial service. Now after the war there would be time to have one. Indeed, he imagined there would be many others who would want to have such a service and he would make it a point to include Decepticon rituals in it to honor Breakdown specifically. He would make preparations. He went to see about supplies and overheard others discussing Unicron and now Megatron's upgrade. Why, Knock Out thought, Cant they just be glad he has shown the willingness to make changes. He was sure they knew he was standing there. This day was going from bad to worse. It was too much like the second experience with MECH.

_"Megatron, Breakdown's signal has come back online, albeit corrupted"_

_"Go investigate. But be careful. It could be an Autobot trap."_

_"I hope not. Breakdown may have acted the brute but he was a maestro behind a rotary buffer."_

_He ground bridged to the coordinates unsure what he would find. He didn't allow himself to become to hopeful. It was indeed a long shot and Megatron was most likely right. He wasn't sure how exactly the Autobots could do that if it was a trap however. Then he saw him. "Breakdown, where have you been?"_

_He discovered the truth and his spark sank to his tanks. The events that followed only served to infuriate Knock Out more. Even he didn't think that was possible. There would be revenge. He vowed. He knew full well that Arachnid was responsible but they took his body. They tried to kill him before. This would not end well for CYLAS. He promised himself. He was even willing to go against Megatrons orders. Breakdown broke his last promise but Knock Out would keep his last promise to Breakdown. He was right. There was no doubt this human could and would be dissected into hundreds of tiny pieces as soon as he got his servos on him. He flipped through his saw, drill and hand almost unconsciously. _

_"We will hear him out and let him try, Knock Out. If he fails, he is all yours." Megatron told Knockout. _

_To Knock Out's joy and to Megatrons disappointment he did fail. _

_"You have earned a place at the table, Knock Out's dissection table."_

_No, Lord Megatron please. NOOOOOOO!"_

_"I will leave no fiber or fiber optic unexamined." Knock Out answered with a sadistic smile and psychotic gleam in his optics. _

_The screams could be heard throughout the warship. Knock Out relished in it. In a twisted way, he thought, Breakdown will still get to help me. _

_"You know," Knock Out told CYLAS as he was strapping him to the table, "Breakdown was one who could endure incredible pain without so much as flinching. He did so when I put him back together after you attempted to take him apart. I wonder what your pain tolerance is. I am sure it is a safe bet it can't compare to his. I will know for sure in a moment."_

_"Why are you taking it out on me? I didn't kill him." CYLAS asked trying unsuccessfully to distract Knock Out and prolong the inevitable. _

_"And you think I don't know that. While you didn't kill him you did something far worse. You tortured him. You tore his optic out leaving him partially blind and was going to dismember him while he was conscious. Then you stole his body and invaded it like a parasite. You had no problem having him on your table. I thought I would return the favor. After all I am a mech of science. You have the audacity to call yourself cybertronian. No you are not one of us and never will be. You are in fact a disgrace to both races. Pathetic human bug. " I am called sadistic. He thought. He knew he was being hypocritical but he really didn't care. If he couldn't honor his memory he would at least exact revenge. _

_Knock Out switched to his 'weapon' of choice, the circular saw and leaned in close to the armor covering his spark chamber. CYLAS screamed. "I haven't even touched you yet! This is going to be fun" _

_The blade whirled and scraped the paint off his chassis as Starscream entered. "Are you really just going to dissect him? It is Breakdown's body after all. If you plan on torturing him at least prolong it. I have some ideas. I am responsible for gaining intel for a reason you know."_

_"this isn't about that, Starscream. He is my experiment. Not your POW."_

_"I know that. You can drag out the experiment and maybe find something useful. What was that you were working on? Synth-En? Didn't it make the Autobot crazy. You were refining it correct? There is your test subject."_

_For once Screamer has a brilliant plan. He thought. "You may have something there Screamer" Knock Out acknowledged. "I'll be back."_

_Days passed. Knock Out had to admit keeping him alive this long was enjoyable. He found himself being snarky less with the others aboard the warship. It was in a way therapeutic. He still missed Break down and imagined if he had been helping. He was finding the properties of the Synth-En interesting. Like Ratchet it was making CYLAS aggressive but he had discovered other odd things too. He was burning through his own at a fast rate. He could starve quickly. _

_Starscream asked him if it bothered him that it was Breakdown's body. He told him it didn't. It was after all only his shell. He knew his spark was gone for good but it did ocassionally trigger memories from when he made the repairs from the abduction. _

Knock Out left that file. He knew what would happen if he continued down that train of though. I lost Breakdown again and the same thing happened to Megatron. He knew it was wise to process throgu it so he did.

_"Seriously, Knock Out could you keep you lab rat quiet. It is getting annoying."_

"_Starscream. I hope you got your T-Cog back so I can rip it out and feed it to Knock Out" CYLAS moaned_

_Knock Out laughed to himself. He had to admit that was a clever insult. Not that it ever would happen. _

_"With his aggression and strength under a sane bot's control he could make a powerful weapon." Starscream suggested._

_"And how are we going to do that?"_

_"With dark energon"_

_Knockout knew at that point Starscream had lost it. He had done stupid things but that topped it. "What? That stuff is more unstable than the synth-en. Sure Lord Megatron can control the army he made but remember what happened when he tried to command the warship with it. The Nemesis naturalized us all." He hated thinking about coming around with the human Jack standing in front of him and Ratchet's attack afterwards. "We can't use that much and besides we don't know how it will interact with the synth-en. I will need Shockwave's permission first. He is in charge of scientific endeavors." That was a fact Knock Out hated but submitted to. _

_Somehow he allowed himself to be convinced to try it with disastrous results. CYLAS was a zombicon that reawakened Arachnid and he found himself running for his life, losing everything he was working on and watching Breakdown's body be destroyed again. It was like losing him all over again and he still didn't have a body to properly dispose of. At that moment he not only hated Arachnid but Starscream as well and to an extent himself for being stupid enough to go along with it. _

His internal chronometer pulled him out of his daydream. It was time to go to work. He kept to himself most of the time but actually tried to not be snarky with Ratchet. It would do no good. As the day came to a close he realized Ratchet had a plan. He had been listening to him talk all day and it was annoying but perhaps there was hope.

"Knock Out, I appreciate the effort you have put into this. I imagine it is difficult."

More than you know Hatchet. Knockout thought but said nothing.

"We are having a memorial service tomorrow for all of the fallen during the war. Obviously Optimus will be honored but there are others. Each will be given a chance to remember another fallen comrade" he paused. "and friend who is now one with the All Spark. We will each do it in our own way with our own rituals. You of course are invited. I know you suffered losses. If you have some nonviolent rituals you wish to use it is permissible. Just wanted to let you know so you could prepare if you want to attend."

"Thank you." Knock Out responded. "I will"

He left and said nothing else. Tomorrow would indeed be a better day.

**A/N That concludes his memories. I may write the ceremony and include a few more but I don't know. For now it is finished. **


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Saying Goodbye

**A/N Here it is the chapter that I promised a year ago and the end to this story. The memorial service from KO's point of view. I am working on another fic that ties into this one and working on that one gave me an idea for this one. Scalpel is one of my OC's that appears in that story Energon, Coolant and Lubricant. This ties in again as I don't know how far out I will take that one. Transformers still isn't mine.**

_"__And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make"- "The End" by the Beatles_

Knockout had to admit the day didn't go near as badly as he imagined earlier that morning. He should have known it wouldn't be that bad. After all, he reasoned, he worked with the Autobots many times at the beginning of the war. He chose a side and now changed his mind. That was completely acceptable. It would be better now than then because the war was over and the needing spare parts would not be an issue. He would have what he needed through more ethical means. He also discovered that Ratchet wasn't that bad to work with. In many ways Ratchet reminded Knockout of a soft sparked version of Scalpel, the bot that influenced him the most early in his career. Knockout thought a moment. No he didn't have many good role models to leadership but he had some role models in medicine. He would go with that. Ratchet would be good to remind him how to work with Autobots again.

As it turned out they knew some of the same Autobots from early in the war and that and the tasks at hand were what Knockout talked about. Occasionally the topic of sparklings came up but that was still a long way off as they still had to be sure the planet would sustain them. It all went well until the end of the shift. Ratchet reminded Knockout of the ceremony that they were going to have the next day. He explained that the idea was Bumblebee's and that because they didn't have clans to grieve with anymore they would borrow a ceremony from the humans. A funeral, they called it. Knockout was sure that a human ceremony wouldn't fit Breakdowns memory so it made him uneasy.

"Have you given any thought to what you are going to do tomorrow or who you are going to honor?" Ratchet asked him.

Knockout considered ignoring him and just letting him find out but decided against it and reluctantly answered. "Breakdown"

"He meant a lot to you did he not?" Ratchet asked although it was more of a statement than a question.

'More than you know' he thought but only said, "Yes"

"He was quite a warrior. I thought at one time he would actually join us." Ratchet told him remembering the time when he was abducted by the human group MECH.

'Unlikely' Knockout thought. He knew him better than any other bot inside and out with the exception of maybe his gestalt team but he didn't think about those times. "Yes well we will never know will we? I don't think that a human tradition fits him well and I am not sure a mere eulogy does him justice. I doubt I will say anything. He was a bot of few words and believe me there are no words that would…" his voice trailed off. "I will find something suitable. I have an idea but I might need your help." He finally added. He explained to Ratchet what he wanted.

_The days were getting somewhat easier though he was still moodier than normal or that's what the other cons on the Nemesis would have said if anyone bothered to ask how the Medic was doing after the loss of his assistant. No one did. The only one who would have was Megatron and he already did. Knockout lied to him and said he was fine and that Breakdown was nothing more than an assistant. Dreadwing asked him once if he was ok but Knockout had a suspicion that he knew the answer due to the fact that Skyquake was murdered too. He had an idea to honor him as a fallen solider that wouldn't be suspicious and almost expected. He never told Knockout though because of duty. _

_This day he figured it out though. Megatron lost his temper again and this time it wasn't because of the SIC. Dreadwing dared to defy him directly and Megatron didn't hesitate to extinguish his spark. Knockout was more surprised than anyone. He was the one that removed his body after wards and it was then that he saw clearly something that he had noticed before but dismissed as merely a scar. Dreadwing had plenty of those. No, this was a marking. Knockout recognized it as a clan sign and the sign of Primus indicating he had fallen. That was what he had in mind to honor a friend? Knockout wasn't sure what to think. Was he really going to suggest that Knockout willingly damage his perfect glossy finish? That was absurd and almost insulting. He didn't need a memory on his frame. It would be forever burned in his processor. He left disgusted. He quickly dismantled the seeker and stored his parts for later use. Yeah he was moody now._

Now he wasn't sure what to think as Ratchet stood there. "It is a good idea, Knockout. Many cultures we have visited have such a ritual. The humans do as well. I believe they call it a tattoo. They have temporary ones as well that are done by the same artist and last a few weeks. If you were really still that opposed to a scar then that could be an option."

"Perhaps, but either way you can see why I require a hand. I definitely want someone with a hand as steady as mine" Knockout said smirking. "Will you do it doc bot?"

"Of course," Ratchet replied.

"I will see you before the ceremony then." Knockout said as he left for his apartment. He remembered the events leading up to him joining the cons.

_'__You will heal faster if you don't hold on to it, Breakdown. You need to let me shut the pain receptors back off and get a full recharge. I have invested way too much in you to let you offline from spark stress after what you survived."_

_"__You don't get it do you doc? Scars on the spark don't heal like knees. I like my scars. I want to feel the losses. And believe me I KNOW my limitations. That is part of your problem Knockout. You hate scars. They aren't your enemy you know." _

_Later he showed Breakdown the small insignia proving he had officially joined the Decepticons and told him of their mission together. The time they officially became partners. _

That was it. Breakdown was a warrior and he wore scars like badges. He wanted everyone to know who and what he was. He also wanted everyone to know who he fought for and why. While he was glad he got a small insignia he was going to get a noticeable 'tattoo' this time. Breakdown was indeed more than an assistant. He made him who he was in many ways. He gave him a reason to be in the Primus forsaken war in the first place. He would have given up anything for him and did. Yes, Knockout decided. He would wear the mark of the honored fallen. He knew the gestalt sign and that would be enough.

He found what he needed and went to get his Energon ration. He was sure he would find the former Autobot command in the rec area and he was right. "A word with you if I may Doctor." He asked as he walked to the table.

"You decided I assume. Which one?"

"The permanent one" Knockout answered his optics glowing. "Some scars are worth it. I am sure we all have those that don't show." He said shaking his helm. "Right shoulder" he told him handing him a laser scalpel "I want to be able to see it but I still don't want it to be too obvious." He said in true Knockout fashion.

"Ratchet finished quickly and added, "Are you sure you don't want it blue?"

"Don't push it Ratchet!"

Ratchet finished and he returned to his apartment to consider what he would say at the memorial if anything and recharge.

The next morning he was awakened by his internal alarm and went down to the Well of Allsparks where they set up the memorial service. 'How fitting' he thought as he sat in the back where he wouldn't draw attention to himself. He would be getting plenty of attention soon enough. Each of the bots spoke briefly about their fallen friends and shared how they each became like family while on Earth. Finally it was Knockout's turn.

He walked up to the front and heard the collective gasp of the bots as they noticed his shoulder. The blue paint perfectly matched Breakdown's paint job and they symbol of Primus was hard to miss. They assumed correctly that the other was Breakdown's gestalt symbol. "Yes, "Knockout said, "to an amazing warrior and the best assistant and friend on any world who wasn't afraid of a few scars. Neither am I. However don't get any ideas. If you scratch my finish I will scratch yours." His optics shown as he held up his claws.

He stepped down and Bulkhead approached him. "I want one" he told him. "He was quite the bot. If one is going to have an arch nemesis he was one to have. Too bad he couldn't be here or join us."

Knockout acknowledged the gesture. Bulkhead was trying. He would try too. He would have liked to have not fought Optimus. That and borrow ideas for rims. He laughed to himself. He would adjust. He might see Ratchet as a role model and maybe Bulkhead as a friend. "Nah" he thought. "I won't take it that far" He rode back to his apartment. His spark a shade less burdened than before.


End file.
